Choose Your Fate

Have you ever felt pretty early on in life that you just didn’t have a chance in hell at having any self-esteem, at least without the help of a drug or substance?

Maybe it’s the circumstances that certain individuals grew up with. By the time we enter adulthood, we have been reduced to an exposed bundle of raw nerves, covered only with a nice coating of self-loathing at being unable to protect ourselves.

As we travel through life we tend to create circumstances that serve to keep all of our wounds from healing. Often, wounded souls learn to wound themselves to keep themselves in false comfort, wrapped in the state of existence that they understand. Even if we can see this pattern, we feel powerless to do anything about it.

This seemingly infinite pain clogs our hearts and runs through our veins like shards of glass. Over time, we loose the ability to feel the membrane of our own skin distinguishing ourselves from the endless sea of self-pity.

At a certain point, we have to realize, in no way am I heading in any direction towards feeling any sense of self-love or deserving.

Then its time to ask ourselves…

Is this my fate that was laid out for me? Some kind of sentence I must serve? Should I just accept that this is the limitation of my personal existence?

Finally we realize, and all of a sudden there is a fire burning in our chest, screaming out →  “That’s just not good enough.”

We all have two fates. One is the result of whatever mess we were born into, and one is the result of deciding that’s just not good enough.

It’s time to make a change. To take your life back and live it the way you want to, the way you deserve to.

And so, you must begin to build yourself. Find ways to earn your own love, respect and admiration by becoming a person you like.  Starting with spending time sober and developing the sides of your personality that you only had when you were wasted.

fate It means getting clear on your truth about all things, settling into a version that feels good to your heart and soul and developing the courage to share it with others so that they could love you or fall away. It means defending that truth, not hiding it or adjusting it to accommodate others.

It means dreaming big — taking those dreams and building them in your life outside your head. It means rebelling against the prison guard of shame and beginning to tell your story. In doing this, you will find wisdom, unique perspectives, deeper compassion and value.

Because we are not wired to love or accept ourselves, it’s easy to fall back into old patterns quickly. This keeps you always busy building new things that are tangible — that you can see outside your own head and love — growing, showing yourself new views of yourself, kicking down walls, living in a state of continual renewal.

Had you grown up wired to feel normal and lovable just because you exist, you probably wouldn’t have the courage to push so hard to grow in these profound ways and build these things.

Whenever you are forced to build something yourself, it runs way deeper and is way more stable. No one can take it from you.

There is only one way to find your fate. Make a change!

If someone you know is struggling with alcohol or drugs, visit or call 800-772-1097 to learn more about our treatment programs.